Regina Yoder <firstname.lastname@example.org>
To: Grace <email@example.com>
01/13/2015 9:18 p.m.
God is so incredibly good! I just had to start with that. So much has happened since I talked to you last, I don’t even know where to begin. There should be a law against going so long between communications between us. Since I don’t know how to properly bring you up to date with the happenings of the last two months, I’ll just give you an overview. God has been working on me to surrender everything in my life to Him. This includes my relationship with my husband, my relationship with food, my relationship with friends, even my relationship with you. One by one, He’s showing me that can satisfy every desire of my heart when I truly delight in Him. The challenging part is giving up the control over these precious areas of my life that I want to hang onto so badly, not knowing for SURE if God will step in and give me what I think I need. So many times I make decisions based on things I know to be true from my history. The cool thing is that God is writing my future history right now. Does that make sense? He’s showing me new patterns of how He meets my needs when I truly surrender to Him. Then the next time He prompts me to give up a little more of the control I’m holding onto, it’s a little easier because I can look back on the recent history and know that He will be faithful again. I trust Him. I trust Him with my heart, my hurt, my desires, my hopes, and my dreams….everything. I’ve been learning the art of not having any expectations in relationships, and how much that helps in restoring damaged relationships that have been difficult to mend. When I really approach people without expectations, I free them to be who they are, and I don’t get hurt from my expectations not being met by them. It leaves me in a better position to love unconditionally. However, I’m so grateful that I don’t have to apply that principal with Jesus. He invites me to come to Him full of expectation and He never disappoints. The more time I spend sitting at His feet, the hungrier I get for more of Him…..and He fills my every longing. He satisfies the deepest crevices of my heart that I didn’t even know were there.
One area in particular that I’ve been struggling with is the new schedule my husband has since he started his new job. He works every weeknight, from 5-5. That means he’s not here all evening, and in the daytime when he is here, he’s asleep much of the time so that he can get up and do it all over again after he has done all the chores on the farm. I’m so grateful for a man that works so hard to put food on the table for us. At the same time, it means that we don’t get to see each other very often, and it’s easy for us to miss opportunities to meet each other’s needs. It wasn’t long into the new schedule before I started feeling unloved and neglected. Not because he was actually neglecting me, but because we just didn’t have time for each other like we had before he got the new job. That hurt soon grew into feelings of self-pity and other negative emotions. God has been prompting me to look at the situation from His perspective instead of just focusing on my own hurt, and I’ve been hesitant to obey because I believed that I had the right to be hurt and deserved to be loved. Then on Sunday our pastor preached a timely message on full surrender. I love how Doug preaches without any “fluff” and the Holy Spirit spoke directly to me through his message. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I knew that God was prompting me to surrender every part of my life to Him, even my marriage, and let Him meet my needs. I ended up at the altar in a heap of tears, but they were good tears, not sad ones. The presence of God was almost tangible as I laid all my hurts, expectations, desires, hopes, and fears down in front of Him and let Him take them all. What a freedom in that! Of course, I need to continue laying them down because new situations arise that call for a reminder that Jesus arms are holding me in a way that no human can. He satisfies so completely and so deeply. I’m so glad for the fresh new history God is writing for me to look back on later and KNOW that He is the perfect husband, the perfect father, the perfect friend, the perfect counselor……and the list goes on and on. He is everything I need, and He gives me so much more than I deserve. He has given me an amazing husband that is providing for our family because he loves us. And when his job leaves him exhausted and unable to meet my heart needs, Jesus stands in the gap with His comforting embrace that permeates the depths of my ache. I’m so grateful.
Well, it’s bedtime and I need to go get all the kids tucked in.
I’ll talk to you later.
Love you bunches,
to: Regina Yoder <firstname.lastname@example.org>
01/13/2015 9:30 p.m.
I have missed your letters. I was busy over the holiday season too, so I’m sorry we haven’t had a chance to chat. I’m so glad you found the time to write tonight though. It was good to hear what God is doing in your life. He’s been working in me too, and you’re right, He is so incredibly good. I’d like to fill you you on the details, but I’m thinking it has been way too long since we’ve had lunch together. We should just get together again and I can tell you in person. I’m overdue for one of your hugs anyway. How about Friday? Are you free?
I love you to the moon and back,